This title would have been “Why you fail”, but I don’t know you. You could fail for a number of reasons. The only person I know with even close to 100% certainty, is me.
And I know exactly why I fail.
There are three parts to tackling a problem; three tools we all use — with varying degrees of importance and success — when faced with a challenge.
- Effort
- Preparedness
- Priorities
I considered making a ‘thing’ here by using ‘perseverance’ instead of effort… But that would be a little trite, so I scrapped it.
As an aside, As an Author, Aaron absolutely abhors any and all aspects about alliteration.
Effort
This is the part most people have down. This is how hard you try to achieve a goal. When we’re kids, and childish adults, we believe that effort is the only ingredient to facing a challenge.
I can do anything I set my mind to.
Few challenges are designed for us to overcome them. In the real world, there often is no key for the lock we want to open. And so no matter how hard we turn, no matter the effort we put in, there’s usually more to it.
Preparedness
Batman, Dora the Explorer, and I feel like there’s some fitting character from a more grown-up class of fiction but they’re always less fun so I just have no idea… Let’s call him Gustav (I imagine there’s a Gustav in every book I don’t read). The one thing in common between Batman, Dora, and Gustav, is that they are prepared.
They have the right tools and equipment, but also the knowledge and experience to handle any challenge.
Imagine trying to carve a marble statue without a chisel. You’d only have your fingers and your willpower. I doubt any amount of effort could overcome that deficit.
But even if we are prepared, even if we have studied a situation and we know how to use everything we’ve brought, and we’re giving 100% maximum effort… We can still fuck up.
Priorities
This is the part that’s supposed to be driven by logic.
Our priorities decide what we put the most effort towards, and use the greater number of resources for. Do we build something from the inside out, or the outside in? Do we eat before we tackle an issue? Do we stay up late and finish a blog post that no one is going to read?
Our priorities can save us or destroy us, and the only way to make sure we have them right is to exercise logic and reason. But too often we allow emotion, expectation, and social standards to decide what our priorities are.
If one of these parts is off, or missing, we fail.
My issue is rarely effort. And it’s never preparedness. When I fail, it’s typically because I prioritize the wrong thing. Sometimes it’s personal, and while talking to a friend, I’ll prioritize their feelings over what I know they need to hear. Sometimes it’s even more personal and I’ll prioritize other people’s wants over my own needs. Other times it’s professional and I’ll spend forever in the planning stage of a project, prioritizing its perfection over making sure it’s ever actually finished.
Always prioritize truth over comfort. Always prioritize needs before wants. And always prioritize a faulty finished product over a perfect figment of your imagination.
Keep Failing Better,
Aaron Shively